TOPIC: Source of size insecurity

Before I go any further, I will say this: I love my wife and my children very much.
In the last 2 years, I\'ve had very little sex with my wife. Probably about 10 to 30 times. Earlier relationships I had with women: we had sex like 3 times a day or more / less / at least once a day (when average). Initially, I equated this to a problem with being too big. Later, I attributed it to her not being attracted to my Dick post-PMMA. Now, I equate this to being a problem with her libido and / or my expectations. IE - it is \"normal\". Also plus the fact that women cannot take a big one that often.

I\'m posting today, on this thread, because I feel that I\'m really getting deeper, and closer to the matter at hand. Before PMMA, I really was about average, maybe even above average. I was 6.5 EL X 5 EG. I am now 6.25 EL X 5.75 (maybe even 6) EG. My Girth now is clearly way above average.

For the first year, post PMMA, I was strictly faithful to my wife. As the amount of sex I received decreased, I increased the amount of \"outside sexual attention\" that I was receiving. To remain \"sane\". As things in my sex life got progressively worse, I (finally) turned to actual penetrative sex outside of our relationship. Part of my choice to have sex outside of the marriage was selfish, but some of it really was because I wanted to try out my new tool.

I am finally at a turning point, I now realize that the whole thing really has nothing to do with the penis at all. But it is more complex than that. Which I will elaborate on.

Before my marriage, I probably slept with 200+ women. After my marriage, I have now slept with 5-10+ women. It sounds terrible, I know.

I am admitting this now, not because I am bragging, or feeling self pity, but because I have had a chance to use my post PMMA Cock with at least 10 women. Now before anybody goes on assuming things, lets remember that before my marriage, I used my pre-PMMA Cock with at least 200 women.

I am sharing this, because pre-PMMA, before meeting my wife, I legitimately struggled with penile size anorexia. I know many millions of other men do too. So I am posting.

I now want to share the truth that has been uncovered by my life experiment. I am sharing this because I want (other) men, to know the truth. Period - at least from my experience. The output of the below is the result of my experiences in my life.

Unfortunately, I only have feedback for men who are average sized or larger.
However, I am almost certain that what I say below HOLDS TRUE for smaller men.

Okay guys, ready? - here it is.

1. Women do notice a difference in size. All of them.
2. There are no medals awarded for being too big. (or average, or small)
3. Some women are not aroused by average penises.
4. Some women are not aroused by large penises.
5. Some women are not aroused by small penises.
6. Most women think 5.5+ EG is TOO big.
7. Most women can enjoy average sized penises - ALOT.
8. Most women can enjoy large sized penises - ALOT - Usually WITH PAIN.
9. Some women are curious about trying sex with a large penis. But generally, they still experience PAIN.
10. Women generally use size as a tool to manipulate men emotionally. Small, Medium, AND Large.
11. A large penis can and does often does hurt a woman physically.
12. A average penis does not generally hurt women.
13. Normal women do not respond to a big penis in real life the way they do in porn.
14. Women enjoy sex with average men, ALOT.
15. Women enjoy sex with large men, ALOT - but with PAIN.
16. A \'quicky\' is not easily possible with a large Girth (with most women).
17. A woman can \"feel\" a big penis more than they can \"feel\" an average penis.
18. From a mans perspective, it \"feels\" almost the same - a bit tighter, but with other \"issues\".
19. Some women \"brag\" about large penises with other women even if they don\'t enjoy it. (I found texts of my wife \"bragging\" to other women even though she clearly enjoyed my average penis more. - She had much more regular sex with my average penis - and appeared physically to enjoy it more.
20. All people respond to the presence large penis more than an average penis - Yes, they know it is around and can detect it.
21. Most men are insecure about having a large penis \"around\".
22. Most women are \"attracted/nervous\" to the idea of having a large penis \"around\".
23. Women care more about size than they do about how it looks.
24. A larger penis will generally cure penis anorexia however it will not cure alcoholism (it might make it worse).
25. A larger penis will make its owner feel more confident, at least if they play with their business.
26. A long penis is actually a liability, not a benefit, with many women - I\'ve had several women (the majority) confide that if my penis was longer that really, they would not be able to service it comfortably. I should note that this was something that happened AFTER my alteration. I\'ve had multiple women tell me I am \"perfect as long as I am not longer\". This is peculiar. Women don\'t normally say this.
27. Some women with a very small vagina are more likely to enjoy (more) a large penis physically - however, WITH PAIN. I should note that these women are VERY acutely aware of size. The woman with the \"smallest\" vagina seemed to enjoy it the most. This would suggest that the statement \"size matters\" is essentially true, with caveats.
28. If size does matter to women, it does not matter as much as men think it does. Men think it (small size) is like \"Eggs benedict without hollandaise\", but really it is like \"Eggs benedict with a little less sauce\". In other words, its still damn good regardless. So lets codify this: Sex with a small penis still feels pretty awesome for women.


That is it for now. I will add more if I think they\'re true.

because EVERYTHING boils down to penis size

.

This reply belongs in the Reply Hall Of Fame!

Most of this size stuff is in our heads. At times I still feel small (at 8 x 7.5 inches).. It\'s dysmorphia. Our minds play tricks on us.

Dance With Dragons wrote: The source of all of this is the inability to accept that none of us are perfect, none of us are even close. We are not god\'s gift to women, most of us really are barely adequate, and frankly we\'re lucky to be that. A lot of us will go through life never really being loved, never really satisfying a woman, and that\'s because most women, just like men, can neither love nor be satisfied. If you had a giant Dick but were missing money, or looks, or height, or talent or personality... You would still come up short. It\'s why the richest people still want more money, why successful entertainers still continue to pander when they don\'t need to, just trying win over a few more fans, and why guys who already have a decent Dick still feel insecure, because there isn\'t enough of anything in the whole world to fill that \"I want\" void.

We\'re all so damn hung up on the idea that if we had a huge Cock we\'d be able to fill the void in any woman\'s life and then she would love us above all others and crave only us... What a complete crock of shit. Even if that were true, we would become unimpressed with women as a whole because it would be easy and then we\'d stop caring what women thought of us, and we\'d move on to God knows what next, whatever we couldn\'t have so we could focus on and put a name to the void in our chest and our mind, to blame something outside of us for the way we feel, and then say, \"If I only had this I\'d be complete\" but we never will be. Not ever, not as long as we live will we ever be enough; we will never impress women, we will never satisfy them and we will never be satisfied either. There is no solution to any of this, we will never win.

When a game is rigged or worse, broken, the only way to win is to get up and walk away. This game can\'t be won, and no matter what we do, chasing these thoughts down the rabbit hole will only continue to destroy us one breath at a time. I am just as guilty of all of this, and I am just as frustrated and angry as you are. I have a huge Dick compared to what I had before and I feel as small as I ever did because I will never ever be \"good enough\". That doesn\'t exist for me, nor anyone else. No one is good enough.

What is the solution? To stop playing the fucking game. It\'s over. We didn\'t lose, we didn\'t win, we just need to realize that it\'s not a fun game and stop playing before it drives us completely mad. Life is short and getting shorter every minute. Who cares if I\'m tearing some bitches pussy up or if she can\'t even feel me. What the hell does that have to do with me. What difference does it make? Nothing. Not one bit of difference to your life, my life or anyone else\'s. We\'re still dying, we\'re still on the way out, getting older and slower each minute that passes, and we will never stop looking for and finding a reason for why we are soooo much smaller and more worthless than everyone else. In the end, we think that because that\'s what we want to think. It gives us a reason to keep getting up in the morning, it gives us a narrative. We\'re the worthless small guy, the guy that no one will ever care about, the guy who got handed a raw deal and wasn\'t blessed with the biggest out of 3.6 billion cocks. We were cheated and not made a god among men and we will never forgive ourselves for that, the audacity to be born flawed, frail, insecure, weak and worst of all, human.

Yeah man, I get it, round 3 will fix it all. For sure.

Hi DWD, thank you for the lengthy response. I think you tapped into some root of the issue. Thank you for posting. This is getting to the of the matter, that is why I posted it here.

Thanks Messageman, I agree 100%.
This is why we\'re here. When you get down to it, It isn\'t really about size!

Powerful response DWD, although I\'d still argue on behalf of the genuinely small, a vast majority of members here may find their problems more-so between the ears than between their legs. And that isn\'t a knock on any one, just a reality check and I think it can be extended to all other facets of self-improvement. Self improvement is healthy and commendable, but should be approached with a healthy, sane attitude with clear & defined goals. I suspect if more men heeded such advice, there would be less men getting any sort of work done to their penises (minus the genuinely small, and I\'ll argue that tooth & nail).

The Chinese girl was probably referring to a small guy she was/used to date. 90% of the guys on this board and in the country are probably larger than her date, so I wouldn\'t think about it again. It\'s not worth feeling insure. If you\'ve even had one round, your bigger than she was referring too.

smalljay wrote: But I\'ve always admired the way older people just enjoy the simple things in life and don\'t seem to give a fuck about what others think about them.

Maybe it\'s just a front they\'re putting on, but it seems like a lot of people over 50 seem to have \'quit this game\' as you put it.

A lot of that stems from the fact that they grew up during a time with a very different attitude toward sex & sexuality and were far less inundated with sexualized media & pornography (especially internet pornography).

But regardless of what they were exposed to, the fact remains that some people just learn to move on, and others (the very lucky imo), never seemed to pay it any mind in the first place.

Thanks for the comments SO, smslljay, Toolman, MM

I did not actually take her comments to long term. But the main reason I posted is to stir up the discussion of what is at the root of the matter.

Last night I went to make so.e moves on my wife and she said \"no honey I\'m sore, its big\"

First time every thing clicked in and I saw the big picture. The grass is greener folks

\"Size matters\". For those of us who started out on the wrong side of that statement, and yes there are scars, we have a long climb uphill mentally to get over it. I have worked on the size of my junk for a decade plus now. I am in a relationship with a bonafide size queen - almost a year. She dated black guys previously, big ones, and tells me I\'m huge. I never discuss the size issue with her - ever. We went through a bad relationship period recently and I got online. I posted pics of my junk and the response was amazing. Lot\'s of married guys wanted me to sleep with their wives. Lot\'s of wives and single girls wanted to be with me, purely sexual, based on the size of my junk. The girl I\'m dating now, same girl - we got through the low spot, just told me I\'m the best lover she\'s ever had. I still perform in bed like I did pre PE and PMMA. And I still feel inadequate. I\'m really contemplating a fourth round to hit 7+ inches of Girth. I would pay an annual salary right now to make my junk 10 inches long. And I know that once there I would want to be even bigger. I\'m intelligent and I know that this is all internal - it\'s all me. What\'s the fix? I don\'t know because I would have done it. Despite age, I\'m now 50+, it\'s still there. Would I change the PE path if I was better? Not a chance. I wasn\'t born huge but I\'m not going to sit by and be \"average\" with my life. I love D with D\'s response to this thread. He\'s the man. How we battle our internal demons is a personal choice. But for all who are new and contemplating the next decision, just know that even with a 7x7 Cock, I still have doubts - and again, it\'s all me. On a positive note, I\'ve really learned that being a good man who is attentive, caring, giving is absolutely key to getting the most out of your relationship with your significant other. You reap what you sow and that has been known for ages. So be good men, go the PE route if you need it, and probably most importantly, learn to be honest with and love yourself. Damn, I\'m preaching. Peace Brothers.

My friend just texted this to me (I am obviously not on this app since I am in sexual quarantine) but this sums up about 70% of interactions with other gay men online. There\'s a source of insecurity if I ever saw one.

That is pretty depressing restoration

.

DWD that was the best post I have ever read about hook up apps...seriously...of all the criticisms that are out there & all the people complaining about them - that was seriously the best thing I ever read. I am saving that in a word document for later use. Seriously!

Unfortunately, a huge percentage of guys like that are on those apps. And, btw, if they saw this post - they would defend the size queen! They would say \"it\'s a hook up app - and that\'s my preference. So, it\'s your fault that you\'re sensitive - put your dick size in your profile and it won\'t happen.\" (I\'ve seen these conversations before, since 2010 when the apps came out - and it brought out the worst in people). But, that\'s basically the excuse for acting like complete shitheads.

Then there\'s the experience I posted before pmma in 1/14 from a guy a met on an app (who then talked about me to my own friend in the neighborhood here):
phalloboards.websitetoolbox.com/post/jus...re-dick-size-6725791

There is no way I can count the amount of guys who open a conversation with \"HUNG??\" At least 100, if not 200. No hi...how are you...what\'s up..just HUNG?

And, the behavior is sort of spreading from apps into real life, because people got to used to meeting on apps. I once had a guy hitting on me in a bar (pre pmma) and he seemed into me... and grabbed my crotch. There wasn\'t much there at the time (especially since I was a major retractor)... and he walked away.

Yeah, I could\'ve had some hot escorts if I didn\'t piss away 7000 in Round 2 and 3. Actually, there\'s other things I needed to do with that money - but regardless.

So anyway, the issues with PMMA this round - and peyronies in the past - are compounded by having to live in this kind of community - where I already a senior citizen (by being in my 30s). My old urologist told me to \"stop trying to meet guys who are like that\" back when I was concerned about the size loss from peyronies & tried to explain to him what size queens gay men are... and I was like... well... they\'re ALL like that. Limit myself to a fraction of a population that\'s already a tiny fraction? Good luck. I\'ve only ever had BFs since PMMA... and I don\'t think it\'s due to self confidence.

I so agree with the above that I have never had any procedure done.