Hello to all,
This is my first post to
PhalloBoards ever, and I apologize not to have introduced myself before, e. g. by a cool story of my PE history (I have none). I joined this board because I have/had issues with my genitals, too, and I like the high quality level of your posts here, which is nothing to be expected when discussing such a topic like penis problems, sexuality and the like in the public. Btw., I think all of the Mods do a wonderful job here.
I am a native German age 49, living in Germany with my wife and my two teenage children (boy, 14 and girl, 11 y/o), and looking from the outside I seem to lead a quite normal and happy life (in fact we do, besides all the troubles you normally have with job, children, marriange and so on...). But there is that nagging problem which is keeping me busy since childhood: and it is about (play the drum rolls and a fanfare) the appearance of my
Cock and
Balls. I posted this here in the PDD thread because I think this is the name of the epidemy which has caught also me, even if it did never get as pathological as in some of you guys here.
How the problem evolved: I had no ideas about being \"too small\" or \"too large\" in childhood. I didn\'t have any possibility to compare, either. There was no internet or private TV channels, and sexuality was a taboo topic in post-war Germany. I used to fondle with my
Dick like to play air guitar with it, showed my stiff 10 cm (nearly 4\") boy boner proudly to my 5 years older sister (we had a very good and descrete relationship), and so on. At primary school, we never undressed completely before or after sports, and I had never been in a soccer or swimming club, where the chance of seeing other naked boys (and comparing with them) would have been higher. I just did not care...
It changed all at Gymnasium (the highest school form in Germany with classes 5 to 13, now 12), when some of the elder schoolmates ran into puberty, long before I did. Unfortunately, these were also the guys who were best in sports, while I had always been the one to remain last when counting out teams... In other words, I was unsporty like a sack full of rice, and I had also added a little belly due to too much (and to good) food at home. The guys I\'m speaking of were well-trained, had some muscles, were not shy to hit the showers naked after sports (they seemed to be full of self-confidence), and when they got dressed again, their genitals formed a quite big bulge in their undies. I remember one day when one of the guys stood quite in front of me (on the other side of the room) naked after shower, his penis semi-erected (he didn\'t care). It was a fascinating view and I had problems not to make my staring too obvious for him. His penis was much bigger in this half-
Flaccid state than I could ever be when fully
Erect! But what made me wonder most was that none of the guys seemed to make a big thing out of being naked. I (and many others in my class) never undressed more than necessary to give ourselves a catlick...
From that age on, I became somehow obsessed with penis sizes, girths,
Erection angles and others. I had no really good friend, couldn\'t talk with anybody about my problems. But we had a quite good school library, and I spend school breaks and lunch times reading books about anatomy, sexual education, and the like. But none of the books could answer my questions: Was I \"normal\"? Was my
Dick big enough? Was my
Erection angle a \"normal one\"? My
Erection angle was something less than 90 degrees, meaning it pointed more to the ground than into the sky. I was also not content with my
Balls: I was (and still am) a real low-
Hanger; the scrotal skin is usually very thin, skinny, and wide, leaving my testicles in mid-air between my groins and my knees. When I sit down, they often fall between my legs, making sitting uncomfortable.
Being loaded with all my complexes and low self-esteem, I never dated any girl at school time, not even later when I studied computer science at University. I started to be fascinated by other boys\' penises, which I found in sex magazines, in the early Internet (yeah, there has never been an Internet without porn) and the like. I tried to contact other bi-courious students by leaving messages on the university toilet walls, but I never ended up with a real date. My shyness was too strong, as well as my self-esteem regarding my size.
Some posters here mentioned that they spent much money and much life time into their \"obsession\"; I also spent many days in places where I could secretely watch other boys peeing or masturbating, just to see other dicks which I could compare with mine. I also felt aroused by the situation and by viewing other penises. Several times I even met with a boy in a locker room or the university toilet to have a wank together. All those guys, however, had a bigger and thicker
Cock than me, so this did not help my low self-esteem. To fight against my low-hangers, I invented special wrapping methods, tying a cloth handkerchief around my
Balls and penis shaft, to give it a tighter look and some bulge. But it is not very comfortable to have a handkerchief knotted round your
Dick, especially when you see something that gets you aroused...
Just to \"drop the pants\" here, I had never any penile enhancement surgery or anything similar. I never tried. On one hand, I was discouraged by the reports of uselessness of such attempts in serious magazines and medical boards. On the other, I was too coward to have anybody fumble with his scalpel near my jewels, possibly with a chance to botch everything. Today, I even know that my size is even more-than-average (for German relations). In Germany, the average erected length is 14.5 cm (something like 5.7\"), while erected
Girth is 12.3 cm (4.8\"). My erected length is about 18 cm (7\") and
Girth 14.5 cm (5.7\"). The downside is, I am an extreme
Grower (blood penis), not a shower. When
Flaccid, my
Dick looks really ridiculous. I am 1.94 m high (6 ft 4.4\") while my
Flaccid penis dangles unseen with its 4\" length and about 1\" width... I do not want to offend anyone here who cannot keep up with these measures, but I feel it is not enough to make a good shape. When I am in swimming trunks or in briefs, there is nearly no bulge whatever.
Now that I am married and have children, you could say \"what do you want? Here you have the proof that you can have good sex, and that a woman will love you, in spite of a small (
Flaccid) penis\" and so on, but this is only half the truth. Okay, meanwhile I have put aside my shyness in showers (still enjoy showing and looking at other penises being there naked), I KNOW that I am above-average sized, my wife confirms that my penis is quite big (sometimes maybe even too big), but there is STILL the envy for other men who look \"bulgier\", have steeper erections, can ejaculate more, spurt wider and so on. When I look in the mirror, it really looks small on me. Sometimes I think it\'s in a man\'s competitive genes. Sometimes I think I\'m the only man who feels like this. I even start to be envious against my son, who has started puberty, has a very vertical
Erection (I spied after him; shame over me!), and a few months ago he also started masturbating frequently. His penis is by far not as big as mine, but he is well on the way; his testicles and penis nearly doubled size in the last two years. He can have erections within seconds; you wouldn\'t even know he has one, because of his
Erection angle which goes straight up to his tummy. I could not remember that I went through puberty with the same speed; everything was so boring slow.
Having a busy job and a family, there isn\'t much time now to ponder about these problems; I just feel like time is running and I didn\'t make the life and experiences a normal guy should have made, just because of my complexes and anxiety. Maybe there is somebody out there who feels similar, or at least someone who can understand this situation of isolation and \"feeling small\" and not adequate to being a man. I know that being a man takes much more than just having big
Balls and
Dick, but being a man with big
Balls an
Dick should even feel much better...
Thanks for reading so far, and pls excuse my English.
Harry
) 
that I can\'t come even close, and that woman want men that can do that to them, men that can \"inflict\" pleasure on them