TOPIC: My PMMA venture -- good, bad and the ugly

Hello Dark, I am heartbroken by your story. I am so glad you posted though, as it has convinced me PMMA is not the right decision for me. . Thank you so much for helping me understand what happens when things do not work out as planned. Please be strong and remember time is on your side.

Your story is hard to read for someone who is supposed to get on a plane for this procedure in a week. But thank you for your honesty, it is greatly appreciated.

Regarding suicide, I can\'t imagine how troublesome this must be, but please know there are people here to talk to and things are very likely to get better at some point. You think the procedure left you feeling \"Trapped by a decision that you made 6 months ago\"...well suicide is a lot more permanent than that and your friends, family and loved ones would be trapped with a second bad (far worse) decision if you give up. Please think of that when you feel depressed about this situation. And let me know if you\'d like to talk in private. I know we don\'t know each other but I\'m a good listener and sounding board.

I\'m curious, could you elaborate on \'hard masturbation session\'? I mean what was so \'hard\' about it? Just for an extended period of time, or were you literally rough with it in some manner? I on\'t understand that part.

Things will get better.

This scares me to no end.So do you still get erections?Do these increase the pain?

All the best.Hopefully there is a cure to this.

Thank you for sharing.

Carl -- I was on ambien and I masturbated while not being erect for about 20 mins... I remember I hurt my unit doing that..

Thanks guys.

There is a whole other part of this story, which includes my going into AFIB in November.

I\'m hoping (my cardioglist as well) that it was due to stomach infection called H.pylori which I was diagnosed with on Jan 4th. Since then I took a very hard regiment of antibodics called a PREVPAC

I\'m still having chest pain, I\'m hoping it\'s related to the stomach issues... and my stomach is just healing... but my mind has been in that dark area since November that somehow the chest pain and AFIB are related to the PMMA ... but most likely not.

I just went outside and played a few rounds of golf -- first time in since November. (I live on a golf course) ... and my penis was doing ok ... he hurt as I walked but I just ignored it... now its red and inflamed .. so I probably wont do that again.

My next steps:

1. Find out if I can get a MRI of my upper chest area for my own mental comfort
2. Also try and get a MRI of the penis area to at least show us where we are today (something to measure against in the future)
3. Continue to leave my happy alone completely...
4. Try and get back focused at work
5. Talk to urologist about flying out to LA to see Dr. Gelman for a consult
6. Get a counselor to talk to about my depression

Thanks all
Dark

Ok so I\'ve stated the UGLY...

Now time for the GOOD.

When I first got this new size, I was amazed how fast my Girlfriend got wet...

I remember having sex for the 1st time after the procedure, and looking down at the bed sheets seeing them covered with her cum... it was amazing.

Also, I could fill her up ... and it felt amazing...

Also the look and feel of the penis was extremely natural feeling... it didn\'t feel artificial at all.

I think she liked it too ... she likes to say I was fine before hand, but always like to slip in \"but the PMMA it does feel good! \"

...

Dark

Darkstaff.....Tears for you....Keep looking forward past the moment.....Best to you.

I edited my original post making sure it was clear that I really beat my penis up the night before this swelling started.

So if anything guys with PMMA .. I don\'t suggest masterbating while not being erect, while on Ambien.

Also, my reaction to the swelling was a little neurotic in a lot of ways.

If you guys look at my posts, you\'ll see some of the desperation..

But I think I have a logical explanation. My H.pylori infection in my stomach that started 2 months before my inflammation problem I\'m dealing with has a interesting side-effect of causing major depression, fatigue, and \"fogginess of the mind\".

It starts with key nutrient deficiency derived from the H.pylori.

ezinearticles.com/?How-Can-H-Pylori-Caus...pression?&id=3545128

There is actually a video about it on youtube



This plus my inability to deal with my girlfriends autistic son who lives with us.. and you get a triple whammy.

It\'s actually a quadruple whammy due to the amount of stress I deal with at work.

So over the last few months I\'ve had one of the biggest challenges of my life. I latched onto PMMA as a way for my brain to lock into \'worse case scenario\' syndrome.. making things just overall worse.

Lots of people on this forum have come to my rescue (as well as Dr.C and Wade) -- trying to calm me down, and helping me with warm messages over IM\'s and on these forums.

To you guys, I want to say thank you.

I definitely have a problem with my penis... but I\'ll deal with it.. and I\'ll keep the forum updated with whatever i find out.

I\'m heading into my doctor office next week to talk about how to get some anxiety medication.

Dark

So I decide to check out Dr Gelmans\' website tonight. I dropped in my information into his website...

Believe it or not, its not even 30 mins later, and he is calling me on the phone.

I told him my situation, and he said that regardless of what material it is, he can remove it. The key is how it\'s latched onto the skin...

I asked him about PMMA, and if he has ever done a PMMA reversal, but that term didn\'t seem to register with him... so I\'m not confident he has.

He did tell me that he\'s never seen anything in the Penis migrate to lymph nodes or anywhere outside the penis.

He also said regardless of if I decide to do anything, that he would like to at least have me come in to look at me. So, I\'ll probably head out sometime in a month or so.

I asked him how booked he was, and he told me he never has a backlog of patients, he likes to keep it clear, and that he works weekends to make sure that happens.

He also said that he did 2 Elist patients in the last week.

Finally, he also said that sometimes its a good idea to wait and see, sometimes if things are getting worse, its better to jump on the problem sooner.

Dark

So I think I finally turned the corner with my stomach.

I can breath today without any chest pain.

I felt so good I actually went outside and played golf... and there was absolutely no pain at all today from my penis.

This is going to sound crazy but right after I got off the phone with Dr Gelman last night, I felt some sort of mental \"relief\"... he told me that he definitely could do a PMMA reversal ... not that I\'m going to ... but him saying that made me feel calm

I took a new Probioic that I think may have really helped me stomach... that and I started on some medical grade food for intestinal inflammation support ...

All these things have finally got my stomach feeling well ... and weirdly enough my penis too.

I therefore am hypothesizing that these two issues are definitely linked I think there is definitely some sort of connection.

I hope I\'m not jumping to any conclusions .... but this is definitely a huge step for me... and definitely something I\'ll explore further with my doctors, and if everything continues to improve... well, hopefully there is a lesson here for other members...

Dark

darkstaff wrote: All these things have finally got my stomach feeling well ... and weirdly enough my penis too.

I therefore am hypothesizing that these two issues are definitely linked I think there is definitely some sort of connection.

Very happy to hear you are feeling better! However I\'m not so sure on the link between your stomach and penis. I find that hard to believe. I think these things might be independent of one another.

Was your diet bad before the recent change? I\'m a believer that 90% of people\'s illness and health issues can be either corrected or improved with dietary changes. My wife and I have felt so much better since we switched to an all natural diet. Let me know if you have any questions on this if you think you might benefit.

I am also happy to hear you are feeling better, at least for now. I doubt there is much of a connection between the two ailments other than the stress caused by one can exasperate the symptoms of the other.

I think you might be right BigBen.

Work up today, and I felt great because my stomach is doing well.. however my penis is back to be swollen... and I think the stomach was amplifying it..

Haven\'t masterbated in forever due to the swelling... I couldn\'t help myself tonight since the swelling is down... the cum was yellow and smelled weird... wondering if it could be the Pheno pills.

Also, I think the overall penis size Erect seems smaller... its definitely not as big as before... and seems almost like it was before the 21cc of PMMA injected... so I started asking myself \'only 1 round... and for what\' ...

There was some swelling today ... but not as bad as it was a month ago. I hope the swelling continues to go down ... the gain to stress ratio ive gone through is definitely not worth it for me.

Nite.

Hi Darkstaff,


I\'m glad that my thread title the good, the bad and the ugly inspired you to call attention to your plight. For with PMMA, mostly it is all good, sometimes there is some ugly, and in rare instances there is some bad.


You and I got a bit of each, but if you give yourself time and retain confidence in Dr C\'s abilities and let time and nature adjust, you will find that it is all good in the end. At least that is my own success story after what I thought was the end of my life. Because it is really hard to think that we aren\'t going to ever recover or be normal again. That\'s not due to PMMA and even less to the physician administering it. It is due to our units being the most fickle and sensitive parts of our bodies and also the most obsessive and stressful component of our psyche.


I had something a bit similar to your experience. I have not reported on this because it wasn\'t due to anyone but myself. One of my girlfriends spent years training her vaginal muscles to be able to come hard just by contracting them. This gives her vice grip power and when she locks down on you you are totally immobilized. Call me stubborn, but I am not a man to be kept down, so I keep on going even though it is almost breaking it off. This does in fact mash and break down the collagen layer and mangle your unit if done for too long. Then you swell, and hurt and ache, and see it all messed up. I guess this can always be smoothed out later, one day with a low concentration PMMA resurfacing, but it isn\'t smart at all. Since a lot of humorous scolding, my girlfriend now tries to restrain herself from doing this when coming hard.


Regarding the good, they say they LOVE the way it feels, and trust me, they are feeling the PMMA induced collagen layer. Its texture becomes addictive to them and they can\'t live without it. Especially those who have slept with hoards of men. They know just how unique that feel is and that you are irreplaceable. Nice!


In fact, even the girls that must know you\'ve had something major done, having doubled in Girth, say nothing. They just don\'t want to miss out on it by calling your game and questioning your unit. Because they don\'t question it, they relish it.


Regarding the ugly, this is when there is unexpected results after a given PMMA injection session. This is usually avoided by the great care that Dr C takes when injecting, with Wade\'s always pertinent and welcome advice. The two of them ensure that our unit is improved as is best possible, with both size and aesthetic results delivered.


However, it is a dynamic organ and things don\'t always go as planned, something impossible to avoid from time to time. PMMA can migrate before hardening into place, due to incorrect or insufficient massaging after surgery. Also we can have an inflammation with considerable fluid which displaces recently injected PMMA and presses it into clumps or clusters, as was the case in my second session. The third one perfectly fixed this consequence which I thought was permanent and impossible to remedy - Dr C rocks!


So we can have bad reactions of various sorts to the trauma of Phalloplasty, to the foreign material injected, to the stimulation caused by the microspheres, to the stress of intervening on such a psychologically critical organ. Also some may have a rare adverse reaction to the carriers in some PMMA concentrates, and even might get an infection from the canula holes if they don\'t take care to keep them sterile and avoid sex until they are totally healed up and sealed. I thought last fall that I might get septicemia due to this, having sex too soon after surgery, and had to take high doses of multiple antibiotics for almost a month for the infection to recede.


So while PMMA is a very valuable way of getting not only extra Girth but also a more desirable unit on the sensory level, it comes with its inconveniences which can be avoided in most cases but can be very upsetting when not due to possible strife, more than due to physiological or discomfort issues.


Hang in there and don\'t give up. Things work out and get a lot better.


HC